A river runs through it.

Sunday, May 24 2009

4:45 am

Wake up to my alarm. Crawl out of my sleeping bag, then my out of my tent and stretch out the kinks. Put a pot of water onto the Coleman and head to the outhouse. It rained late yesterday and the grass is still wet.

5:00 am

Coffee is ready and as I start my first cup I can see that the sky is beginning to brighten up. It's overcast but not cold. I dig out my gear and put fresh tippet on my leader. The campground is full but it looks like no one else is up yet. I finish my first cup and gather my gear as I start my second cup. My vest was hanging on a branch during yesterdays downpour but it isn't as wet as I had expected.

5:30 am

Start a fire for my friends and step into my waders. The air is calm and quiet except for the sounds of the river. As I step into the water at the bridge I notice a thin pair of wispy clouds stuck in the canyon upriver.

I open my flybox and grin at the sight. On one side are a variety of flies, mostly nymphs and emergers. The other side holds a dozen familiar looking tan and orange flies. Sandy Mites. I had been pestering the guy at the flyshop in Ashton to carry them for years. He finally buckled and had about a hundred in stock when I stopped in yesterday. Tied on a #12 and waded to the middle.

My first cast was pretty sloppy, barely reaching the thin channel along the far bank. Before the current could take it my line went taut. Fish on! Played him quickly and netted him. Hayspur Rainbow Triploid. Fish and Game stocked the river 3 days ago with about 2,000 of them. This one is about 8 inches, a typical stocker. It's going to be a good day.

6:30 am

Finished the run from the bridge to the bend and stepped out at my campsite for another cup of coffee. Gary and Daniela are still sleeping but others at Warm River campground are beginning to stir. A Father/Son team is gearing up at the pavilion. I better get back on the river before they crowd me out.

7:30 am

I stepped in just above the bend, claiming a stretch that contains my 2 favorite holes. I call them "the eddy" and "the rock" and they are my best chance of hooking a native trout in the campground.

The eddy gave up 2 stockers so I switched to a salmonfly before wading down to the rock. The two fishermen above me were getting too close anyhow. I worked the rock for longer than I should have and moved on without a strike. Switched back to a Sandy Mite and finished the run to the end of the RV sites. Hiked back to camp.

8:30 am

Gary and Daniela are just getting up when I return to camp. Start more coffee and brag about all the fish I caught. Daniela asks to see them and I explain that I usually release them, as I had done this morning. She's disappointed because she had never eaten a trout before and was looking forward to it. Then Gary gives me the "yeah sure you caught a gaggle of trout" look.

I had no choice. As they started their first cup I grabbed my spinning rod, a jar of Pautzkes and stepped to the bank.

Truth be told, drifting an egg from the banks of Warm River should be illegal for anyone over the age of 12, especially on Memorial day weekend. Within 15 minutes I had six 10" stockers on the grass. 15 minutes after that they were sizzling in a frying pan. I showed Daniela how to properly fry and bone a trout and we all had a fresh breakfast.

10:00 am

Puttered around camp until lunch enjoying the day.

1:30 pm

Roasted a set of hot dogs for lunch, put my waders and boots into a backpack and headed up the Yellowstone line trail.  The hike to the honey hole is about 3 miles up the trail then a 400 foot scramble down the canyon side to the river below. 

3:30 pm

Changed into my waders and realized I had left my fly box on the table back in camp.  My only flies I had were the Sandy Mite tied onto the tippet and a pair of stone flies hooked into the wool patch on my vest.  I swapped out the nymph for a #8 brown stonefly and stepped off the bank with high hopes.  I could see my landmark, a huge cast iron wheel sitting in the riverbed just under the waters surface, assuring me I was in the right spot.  I worked that hole for about 30 minutes and began moving downstream towards camp, hopping from one hole to the next without a strike.  Feeling the frustration set in I switched back to the Sandy mite as I approached "the slide" and started working the channel off the far bank.  There was another fisherman squatting on the big bend hole so I took my time hoping he would move on.  After an hour of waiting I reeled in and was about to leapfrog him when he moved to the bank and sat down.  I made a beeline to the top of the bend, switched over to my only remaining fly, a #12 orange stonefly.  I drifted the bug through the channel 4 or 5 times when my rod bent in half and line began zipping off my reel.  I set the hook and the fight was on.  I could feel his weight and was sure my tippet would give way when he turned upstream right towards me.  Ripping line off the water as fast as I could, I caught my first glimpse of the fish.  a nice brownie.  I finally caught up with him but had a birds nest of line tangling around my legs and net as the line once again grew tight.  I started backing up higher onto the gravel bar I had been standing in and worked him into knee deep water.  After a few brief moments I netted him and was finally able to admire his beauty.  He measured 21 inches and weighed somewhere around 5 pounds.  As I was releasing him back to the warm river and could hear the fisherman sitting on the bank cursing about how he "knew there was a brute sitting in the hole".  We chatted a few minutes and I changed back into my hiking boots and walked the riverside trail back to camp.

7:00 pm

Started a dinner fire to grill some ribeyes and got a load of charcoal going for the dutch oven cobbler I planned for dessert.  Camp was buzzing and campfires were crackling in just about every site.

9:00 pm

As we rested in our camp chairs, telling fish stories, we watched as a Moose and her calf stepped into the river on the far bank.  We enjoyed some cobbler and relaxed at the fire as it burned down to shimmering coals.  Sipping whiskey we sat in silence, mesmerized by the flickering coals and the subdued sounds of campers settling in for the night.

10:30 pm

Crawled into my tent and inchwormed into my bag wishing I had remembered to bring a pillow.  The only sound was the rivers gentle voice, speaking to my soul, a few feet away.

As I lay there in the dark quiet, I wondered if a more perfect day could ever be experienced.

On the precipice

"The liberties of our country, the freedom of our civil Constitution, are worth defending at all hazards; and it is our duty to defend them against all attacks.

We have received them as a fair inheritance from our worthy ancestors: they purchased them for us with toil and danger and expense of treasure and blood, and transmitted them to us with care and diligence. It will bring an everlasting mark of infamy on the present generation, enlightened as it is, if we should suffer them to be wrested from us by violence without a struggle, or to be cheated out of them by the artifices of false and designing men." -- Samuel Adams

"America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves." -- Abraham Lincoln

Lady Liberty is under attack from inside of America. I can no longer stand by and do nothing.

Words are futile.

Iran

It's all over the news, you can't help but have heard about it. There is a Revolution beginning in Tehran. Freedom loving Iranians are coming out of their closets and marching into the streets, only to be gunned down by federal hit squads.

I watched a cellphone video of a young woman named Neda Soltani as she lay dying on the street from a govt snipers bullet. Her crime? Being present. Others have died in the past few days over there for the same reasons. The protesters are not political or religious fanatics. They are regular people caught in the middle looking for freedom.

Was the election rigged? Probably, but it doesn't really matter. The point is that people are being executed because they are standing up for basic rights.

They will of course lose their battle. While they cry out to the world begging for help, we'll watch it all on CNN and do nothing. The politicians will draft a strongly worded letter or two and the pundits will shake their fists but in the end, the Iranian people will be on their own and at the mercy of their merciless govt.

BBQ season

It's officially here...BBQ season. Every Spring the rituals begin. Testosterone laden men go outside, create fire and roast fresh meat to satisfy a primal urge. Don't judge us, we can't help it...it's who we are. Many times we are encumbered by those unafflicted by primal dispositions who spoil the sanctity of the ritual with nuisances like salads breads and other vegetables.

Since I became single, I've returned to my roots and conduct the BBQ as it is supposed to be. The rules are simple.

1. Meat only at the BBQ
2. He who creates the fire and wields the tong is in charge.
3. Beverages must come from a can.
4. Red meat must never be cooked past medium. Ever.


I often get asked for advice on how to handle difficult BBQ problems. Here are some examples.

1. What if a guest requests that their steak be cooked "well done" in obvious violation of rule # 4?

I get asked this from time to time and the answer is simple. Cook it til medium and stick a paper flag on a toothpick that says "well" and serve. You should also have a few "medium well" flags handy just in case.

2. When I'm cooking baby back ribs, the small ribs at the end always get overcooked and dry before the rest of the rack is ready. Any tips?

Again, the answer is right before your eyes. Because the riblets at the end are smaller, they cook faster than the rest. When they turn golden brown cut them from the rack and eat them right off the grill. As the keeper of the tong it is your right to sample riblets, chicken wings and broken off burger pieces as they would otherwise be burnt or lost.

3. Rule #1 is pretty clear in it's "Meat Only" doctrine. How does this affect my choice of marinade, cooking sauces and condiments?

A purist would not allow the use of vegetable or vegetable by-products in sauces or condiments. I believe thats going a bit too far. Theres nothing wrong with using a tomato based marinade or cooking sauce. Technically, garlic and onions would violate this rule as well, but there is a loophole in the rule. Basically, as long at it has direct contact with meat during the grilling or serving phase of the BBQ, it's Kosher. This loophole also is why we can BBQ a shish kabob or melt Gorgonzola on a Ribeye with a clear conscience.

4. I have a friend that always brings a couple frozen veggie burgers and asks me to grill them for her. How do I handle a delicate situation like this?

First of all, there is no such thing as a burger made from vegetables. It's a processed soybean patty. Secondly, you must use caution in how you react to a situation like this. My favorite tact is to act casual like nothing has happened. Place the soybean patties onto the grill. When she turns her back sneak a strip of bacon (cut in half) under the patty. This solution serves double duty. It not only brings the grill into compliance but it also adds actual flavor to the soybean compound.

5. What about grills. My Dad always used a charcoal grill, but I like my propane model.

Ahh yes, the age old conflict of gas vs coal. Clearly a gas grill is more convenient than a charcoal grill. The problem lies in the act of creating the fire itself. In a technical sense, turning a knob and clicking a piezo starter does qualify as creating fire, but it will surely lead you into perdition. Only by dousing wood coal with a flammable liquid and striking a match to it are you truly a creator of fire. Also, you can't use wood chips to add that smokey flavor with a gas grill.

In closing I'd like to leave you with this sage advice from Leroy at Bubba's BBQ shack.

Always remember to wash your hands after dry rubbing a brisket or you'll get pepper in your eyes.

Euro Envy

Euro envy can be described by a persons deep desire to be European shackled to the cold and bitter truth that they are not.

This is the destructive mindset guiding many liberal Americans today, especially in politics. It explains why they believe that Socialism is the right path and is highlighted by their eagerness to disparage and weaken America.

Socialism is a cancer in a truly free society. It is Americas Kryptonite. It has already erased the lines between government and private industry. In it's first 4 months our new administration has taken control of far too many iconic US corporations and banks. Their leadership and structure dictated by the Whitehouse, their survival dependant upon the political whims of an invasive government.

The Whitehouse with the muscle of a corrupt Congress has also driven our debt to enormous levels. This is the point of their spear. The US debt must be insurmountable, our military rendered impotent and our international standing fully degraded in order to make the transition into a complete socialist state.

Make no mistake. Each of us are at a fork in the road and our population is evenly divided over which path to take. On the left is Socialism and on the right a return to our Constitution. There is no middle road. Those who do not make a choice are destined to accept whatever emerges a generation from now.

How will history record this era in America? Who among us will be named and what impact will their deeds have? Most importantly, what role will YOU play? Which fork will you take and how convicted will you be in that choice? Will you champion the Eurocentric shift towards a government controlled society or will you fight to enforce the Constitution? If you choose to fight, when and how will you begin?

Fun with shaped charges

I am a Right Wing Extremist

It's official. The Department of Homeland Security now categorizes me in the same group as Racists and Domestic hate groups.

Read about it in this report to law enforcement agencies nationwide.

Here is the new definition of "Right Wing Extremist"

"Rightwing extremism in the United States can be broadly divided into those groups, movements, and adherents that are primarily hate-oriented (based on hatred of particular religious, racial or ethnic groups), and those that are mainly anti government, rejecting federal authority in favor of state or local authority, or rejecting government authority entirely. It may include groups and individuals that are dedicated to a single issue, such as opposition to abortion or immigration."

I fall into the group that favors state and local authority, a view that I share with our founding fathers. I care deeply about our country and the direction it's spiraling into and I don't see anything good coming out of DC these days. The whole thing is a shit sandwich and brother...I'm just not that hungry.

And another thing. I'm getting awful sick and tired of defending myself against labels.

I don't support the Obama so I'm called a racist.
I think the Federal govt is out of control so I'm called an extremist.
I think Sharia Law should be banished so I'm called a hater.

Every time I turn around the "enlightened" crowd has another disparaging name for me so I have one just for them.

Fucktards.